Wednesday, April 29, 2009

What do Iranian People Want?

What do Iranian people want? If you listen to someone like Ali Ansari, the director of the Islamic Republic funded Iranian Institute at University of St. Andrews, he seems to think the Iranian people are most concerned about the threat of the US neo-cons and hawks. If Ahmadinejad became president, according to Ansari, it was the Iranian public's reaction to the threatening policies of the hawks and neo-cons.

If you go along to meetings organised by the Islamic Republic funded CASMII group, then you would hear them claim what Iranian people want more than anything else is to get rid of sanctions. All of Iran's socio-economic and political problems are due to sanctions according to CASMII, and nothing to do with the plunder of Iran by a greedy and powerful clerical oligarchy.

If you talk to a journalist who has been to Iran, they will base their claim on a couple of interviews they carried out with some suspicious passer by, who was aware of the possible consequences of his words, and then anecdotes become a scientific poll. Like when Simon Tisdall claimed Ahmadinejad's popularity had soared to 70% after having interviewed Ahmadinejad's class mate :)

If you talk to a disgruntled Iranian exile, he or she will surely give you yet another view. The truth is what the above will claim is never a true representation of what the Iranian people want, it is an expression of what their own agenda is which they then try to present as what the Iranian population wants.

A more realistic study of listing what people in Iran really want however is actually to follow the presidential campaigns of Karrubi and Moussavi Khamenei.

If we consider the three main candidates for presidency, who will not be disqualified next week by the Guardian Council, to be Ahmadinejad, Mir Hossein Moussavi Khamenei and Mehdi Karrubi, [Mohsen Rezaii only came on board yestrday] then there is a lot we can learn from their promises to the people and what people demand from them in the meetings. More so with Mir Hossein Moussavi Khamenei and Mehdi Karrubi, since Ahamdinejad sees his chances of winning more in handing out freebies in election rallies, sudden pay rises for government workers and pensioners and of course the help of the Baseej, armed forces and the interior ministry which will do their best to manipulate the votes in his favour.

The other two however are going out of their way to appeal to the public and prevent a boycott of the elections. It is likely that around half of the eligible voters will decide to boycott an election which only allows approved candidates to stand and still cheats in the ballot boxes.

So lets look at the promises made by Karrubi and Mir Hossein Moussavi Khameneii and deduce what the Iranian people want and what their priorities will be. By no means am I saying that these two candidates will deliver on their promises, if they became the president, I am just saying to appeal to the Iranian public, below is a short list of what they have been promising to the public and it is a better gauge for what people in Iran want:

1) Improving the mis-managed economic situation and more accountability in state financial expenditure
2) More personal freedom for the youth and tolerance of the dissident civil and student movement
3) An end to morality patrols
4) An end to the widespread corruption at the very top.
5) Better relations with the rest of the world and getting back into the mainstream world rather than being allies of Sudan, North Korea, Syria etc.
6) An end to Guardian Council vetoing of election candidates
7) Enough of promoting Palestinian issues before Iranian interests

From what is said at the election rallies and interviews, one can also clearly see the red boundaries, that the candidates will not cross or even dare suggest that it is within the scope of a president's choices in Iran, these are for example nuclear energy and restoring relations with the United States.

With regards to restoring relations with the US for example, Mir Hossein Moussavi Khamaneii, in his interview with Timesonline, hints at his wish to talk to Obama, but also clearly spells out
' it is not up to the president to take strategic foreign policy decisions, which under Iran’s constitution are decided by the national security council'.

At the end of the day, no matter who becomes the next Iranian president and how they become the next president, the promises made on the above list, will remain promises just as we have seen in the past. To achieve the above promises and deliver what the Iranian people want, what is needed is to dismantle the theocracy and the rule by the clergy and move towards a democratic and secular state.

Press TV Clip of the Campaign Iran Meeting at SOAS

Here is the Press TV clip about the meeting at SOAS :

Press TV Clip


covered in the previous post.

See how the Islamic Republic funded television uses these meetings for its propaganda purposes?

Notice also Jon Snow, the arch 'useful idiot', and how he equates the greatness of the Iranian nation and its long history with that of the present ruling regime in Iran?

Still have any doubts that CASMII is funded and used by the Islamic Republic?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Obama and Iran by Campaign Iran

Went along to a public meeting at SOAS tonight organised by Campaign Iran. The speakers were :

Jon Snow former Trotskyst and current Channel 4 News reader, Mehri Honarbin-Holliday, leading member of Campaign Iran, Ali Fathollah-Nejad, CASMII 'Political Scientist' and councillor and John Rees from Stop the War Coalition.

The meeting was chaired by none other than the silver spoon fed Iranian born aristocrat ex-public school girl, turned Marxist-Leninist, turned Shiite Muslim feminist and now referred to as People's Peer in the House of Lords, Haleh Afshar.

If you have been to any of these CASMII or Campaign Iran or any similar meetings with Haleh Afshar, the script by the speakers is quite predictable and it is along these lines:
The Islamic Republic is a victim state of American arrogance, imperialism and sanctions and if only the West found a way to accept and come to terms with the Islamic revolution and guaranteed the security of the Islamic Republic then everything would be honky dory, all will live in peace and prosperity, no one will pay taxes and all will live happily ever after.

So according to the script, Ali Fathollahi-Nejad spoke first about his version of US
history of arrogance towards the Islamic Republic and how the US should come to terms with the Islamic Republic and that although there are some optimistic signs in the Obama administration, the Neo-con elements are still at large and are hampering the efforts to normalise relations between US and the Islamic Republic.

Most preposterous speech however was by Mehri Honarbin-Holliday. She went through all the malaise in the current Iranian economy and claimed to have spoken to representative samples of all layers of the Iranian society during her regular trips to Iran. From the wealthy Bazaaris, to the unemployed workers, the teachers, student activists, private sector businessmen, state owned enterprise managers and all had suggested everything bad in the economy was due to the US sanctions!! No mention of widespread nepotism in delegating illiterate managers, complete mismanagement of the economy, corruption, unaccountability, complete squandering of the $270 Billion Petro-Dollars or any of the things the current candidates for presidency like Mir Hossein Moussavi or Karrubi are bringing up to appeal to the public but no according to this woman, all our problems were due to US sanctions! and we had to believe her extensive sampling of opinions in Iran.

Jon Rees went on about how the Shah was a puppet of the US imperialism and how the Islamic revolution in 1979 shattered the US hegemony in the region etc. I wonder if he has ever changed the tape in his tape recorder, although there was one thing in his speech that I had not heard before. Rees said, Islamic Republic is not intrinsically anti-Imperialist by nature, but it is forced into that corner and if the US reached some deal with Iran, then Islamic Republic would no longer be anti-imperialist. This made me think, if being anti-imperialist is such a good thing to these people why do they want to campaign for some deal to be reached which would stop Islamic Republic from becoming their anti-imperialist icon?!

Finally Jon Snow arrived late and as pompous as usual, started feeding the audience with some half truth and some complete crap. And just as usual he was full of himself, either implicitly or explicitly. For example did you know that the UK sailors were released because he managed to stage a live interview in Farsi with Ali Larijani? :))

Extrapolating on the same warped logic of how talking to the Islamic Republic officials and treating them with respect opens doors and overcomes problems, Snow mentioned how during the US embassy hostage crisis he was in Iran and how the Islamic Republic foreign minister at the time, Sadegh Ghotbzadeh, had appealed through Snow to the Americans to negotiate through him for the release of the hostages but his appeal had fallen on US deaf ears, 444 days later however, the Americans had come to their senses and negotiations through Algerians had finally led to the release of the hostages.

Little did the unknowing audience know that When hostages were first taken, Ibrahim Yazdi of Mehdi Bazargan's provisional government was the foreign minister. Any one who has read about the US hostage crisis will know that the Carter administration made every effort to negotiate through Yazdi but when Ayatollah Khomeini endorsed the hostage taking on state TV, the entire provisional government resigned. Sadegh Ghotbzadeh who was until then, the head of the state controlled TV became the foreign minister but was executed shortly after. Only Jon Snow can tell us what negotiating through Sadegh Ghotbzadeh would have achieved? The entire operation was a planned coup by the hardline clerics to hijack the revolution and monopolise the power.

Anyone who knows anything about the hostage crisis also knows that the US hostages were finally released not because the US eventually decided to sit and talk to the mullahs through the Algerians but on the contrary the Islamic regime was worried that the new US president will take a harsher approach than the Carter administration, and after all, the objectives of the operation by then had been achieved and the hostages had passed their sell by date and were in fact becoming a liability.

I tried to ask a question after Ali Fathollah-Nejad's speech, my question was that given the fact that every US administration had tried to approach the Islamic Republic, was it not the hardliners in Iran who were blocking the normalisation of relationships and therefore should their campaign not be aimed at the hardliners in Iran? But to an audience who had heard so much crap about the Islamic Republic being the victim of US arrogance, I had to first give examples of how so many approaches were made in the past by successive US administrations, but the chair, Haleh Afshar did not give me the chance to ask my question and quickly cut me short saying I was making a statement and not asking a question.

We were used to such tactics by these people, similar thing had happened at a previous SWP meeting in Hackney when we were given no chance to ask questions at all on that occasion.

Before the meeting we handed out a leaflet based on my previous post on Haleh Afshar and our heckling got us enough attention that prompted many people to come up and talk to us outside the hall. So we had some effect, most people who spoke to us outside realised and understood what our message was and all in all it was better that we turned up and the CASMII and Haleh Afshar bullshit did not go unchallenged.

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Blunder with Israeli Orange Handouts

Following the hand out of cash in envelopes to journalists and free potato handouts to potential voters by Ahmadinejad's election camp, the efforts to buy votes with more hand outs was intensified to help re-elect Ahmadinejad.

In another freebies for votes stunt, Ahmadinejad's camp announced free orange handouts to people when he was due to hold an election rally in the poor district of Islamshahr. Of course the stunt worked and as predicted, large throngs who would not miss the opportunity of getting fresh juicy oranges for free, turned up. There was however one problem. The oranges were Israeli oranges with obvious 'Jaffa' labels still on them!

So shortly after President Ahmadinejad using the platform handed to him on a plate by the UN summit to recruit extremist and militant minds in the Middle East, the self styled champion of the oppressed Palestinian people was handing out Israeli oranges for the rent a crowd mob.

Who could have written a funnier script than that?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

'Conqueror of Geneva'

President Ahmadinejad returned to the well rehearsed welcome of his organised supporters as a hero. Hardliner news website, Raja News, declared him as the 'Conqueror of Geneva' and Hojjat-ol-Islam Ghassem Ravanbakhsh, the political editor of the Parto weekly claimed the 'Epic of Columbia was Repeated in Geneva'.

Presidential candidates, Mir Hossein Moussavi-Khamenei and Mehdi Karrubi however didn't see it as an epic or conquering Geneva, instead they said Ahmadinejad should have thought about the plots by our enemies and not have given them the opportunity to humiliate us. Interestingly each gave examples of how they consulted Ayatollah Khomenei, when there were similar opportunities to speak at UN in the past and how Ayatollah Khomeini prevented them from doing so by predicting that the world powers would exploit the occasion and make a public show against the Islamic Republic.

Another presidential candidate, lesser known in the West, Akbar Alami, war veteran and former disqualified MP from my birth place, who will undoubtedly get disqualified from standing as a presidential candidate, was more blunt and said more or less what I said in my previous post, that Ahmadinejad should become the president of Palestine.

What is evident however is that all candidates have sensed the public mood, i.e. enough of sticking up for Palestine, its time we stood up for our own national interests.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ahmadinejad at the UN Racism Summit

What would an Iranian expect an Iranian president to do? I would say the most natural thing to expect is for an Iranian president to represent the Iranian people and stand up for their rights. At a UN Racism Summit, an Iranian president perhaps should highlight the case of the Talysh people in the falsely referred to Republic of Azerbijan, an ethnic Iranian people who are subjugated to brutal repressive racist discrimination by the Turkish Chauvinist Aliyev clan.

Perhaps an Iranian would expect an Iranian president at such a summit to proudly say how Iran, ever since the time of Cyrus the Great, abhorred racism and Iran has always been a place where different races have flourished together side by side.

Yet I watched Ahmadinejad do his usual babble about Palestine and I wondered would it not be more suitable if this guy became the President of Palestine? The Palestinians would probably be more happy and Ahmadinejad himself would be more happy and wouldn't need to hand out free potato sacks and cash handouts in his election meetings to buy voters. Iranians would be more happy too. It would be a win win situation and all would be happy if Ahmadinejad became the president of Palestine.

So far you probably expect me to say these things, but did the representatives of those countries who walked out during Ahmadinejad's speech do the right thing? Actually I don't think so. By walking out they allowed Ahmadinejad to babble on without being challenged and they allowed him to become the champion of the Arabs. For example imagine if a representative of one of those countries that walked out, stood up to Ahmadinejad's wolf cries for Gaza and reminded everyone that five times more Iranians were killed in the two months during the 1988 massacre of Iranian political prisoners by the Islamic Republic than were killed by the recent conflict in Gaza.

Or one of them who walked out could have asked if Israel is such a racist genocidal regime, why did the Islamic Republic buy arms from Israel during the Irangate affair?

Still, the president of Israel's reaction and statement was even worse than all of the above. This is what Peres said:
"It is hard to fathom why despots such as Hitler the Nazi, Stalin the Bolshevik and Ahmadinejad the Persian chose the Jews as the main target for their hatred, their madness and their violence,"

Where does Perez get his advisors from?! Nazism is an ideology Hitler can be attributed to, Bolshevism is an ideology Stalin can be attributed to. When did Persian become an ideology?!! How is Persian put next to Nazism and Bolshevism? When did Ahmadinejad become a Persian?!
Perez could not have given Ahmadinejad a better weapon to turn the Iranian people against Israel.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Ahmadinejad's Prayers for Rain

The following is a translation of a news report by the ultra conservative Kayhan, printed in Tehran, after Ahmadinejad's trip to Isfahan.

'Dr. Mahmoud Ahmadi-Nejad, at the end of his speech amongst the enthusiastic people of Isfahan at Imam Khomeini Square, held his hands up to pray and asked the Almighty for rain.

According to our reporter, from Wednesday evening [immediately after Ahmadi-Nejad's prayers], rain and the mercy of the Almighty has started across Isfahan, so much so that the intensity of rain and hail, especially on Thursday, at times reached such a climax that caused several locations in the city to be flooded'

Perhaps the Almighty may similarly answer Dr. Ahmadi-Nejad's prayers for votes.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Nokia and Siemens Sell Spy Systems to Islamic Republic

How often have you come across a 'useful idiot' who cries out against sanctions against the Islamic Republic? Just mention the word sanctions and the useful idiot suddenly overcomes with all kinds of emotions for the people of Iran and how the poor Iranians would suffer as a result of sanctions! As if just living under a theocracy riddled with corruption and nepotism and injustice, isn't enough suffering for the Iranians.

I remember similar arguments used when there was Apartheid in South Africa. The people of South Africa were calling for sanctions against Apartheid, while the 'useful idiots' advocating against sanctions were making out they were speaking on behalf of the suffering masses there.

Of course there can be different kinds of sanctions, some useless and some harmful but perhaps someone can tell me what is wrong with asking sanctions against companies that sell spying systems to the Islamic Republic that leads to the arrest of pro-democracy activists?

And talking about 'useful idiots', looks like they are all getting together at SOAS again on 27th April between 7 - 9 to express their concerns about the 'well being' of the Iranian people. All the usual gang will be there, Jon Snow, CASMII morons like Mehri Honarbin-Holliday and of course the 'People's Baroness', the 'Prominent Iranian Academic', Haleh Afshar! the silver spoon pampered Iranian aristocrat turned Marxist revolutionary turned Shiite Muslim Feminist!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Karrubi and the Morality Patrols

Controversies follow after Moussavi's claims to abolish the much hated Morality Patrols if he becomes the next president of the Islamic Republic. Former Khatami deputy, Mohammad Ali Abtahi, criticised Moussavi for making such unrealistic claims by emphasising that the Morality Patrols are not under the jurisdiction of the Islamic Republic president and nothing could be done against them during Khatami's time either. Abtahi also gave examples of Ahmadinejad's claims/lies before becoming president that his government will not be concerned with the population's personal choices of hair styles and clothing etc. and these empty promises will only make the Iranian population more despondent and discouraged towards the establishment.

Now Karrubi speaking at Zanjan university tried to put a different spin on the subject of Morality Patrols. Karrubi claimed if he becomes the next president, the Morality Patrols will themselves cease their function and it won't even be necessary for him to do or say anything :)))

If only the clerics realised how popular they would be and how much money they would make
by becoming stand up comdians instead. It would be better for everyone.

One thing is for certain, to say the Morality Patrols are unpopular is a big big understatement.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Anniversary of Islamic Republic Referendum

First of April was the anniversary of the Islamic Republic referendum day, when Islamic Republic became a reality. Coincidentally it was one day before the 13th day after the Iranian New Year, which traditionally is marked as the unluckiest day of the Iranian calendar. So in between April Fools Day and the unluckiest day of the Iranian calendar, millions of Iranians, 30 years ago condemned the next generation of Iranians to a miserable life under a backward theocracy.

It was a strange day, the euphoria was bewildering and when you asked people, what exactly was the Islamic Republic? They all gave different answers. The truth is, no one knew and worse still no one asked, they just imagined it as how they wanted things to be. It was a generation that didn't think and didn't ask questions but followed the rest of the flock like sheep.

I remember sitting on the park bench with one of my class mates, who had voted for the Islamic Republic in the referendum, we were arguing whether it was the right thing to do or not. I was arguing that he didn't have a clue what he voted for and he was trying to justify his action, when all of a sudden he admitted that he had two reservations when he voted. He said 'I just have two reservations, I like fast music, I wonder if in the Islamic Republic I will be allowed to listen to what I like, and I wonder if boys and girls can have a more civilised open relationship with each other?' Thats how much he knew about the Islamic Republic :))
I am still in touch with my friend. He works in Dubai and from time to time, I remind him of that moment, mimicking his stupidity and we both crack up with laughter.

On the 30th anniversary of the referendum, I was asking myself how would Iranian people vote today? Now that they have no illusions as to what the Islamic Republic is about, what would be the outcome of such referendum? Interestingly Mehdi Khazali, son of the hardliner Ayatollah Khazali, member of the Guardian Council, has put up a poll on his website. The poll asks for those who were not around thirty years ago to vote in the referendum, Islamic Republic, Yes or No?

As of today when I looked at the results, 3050 people had taken part in his poll. 2951 people have voted No and 99 have voted Yes. So 96.8% No votes and 3.2% Yes! Almost the reverse of the results 30 years ago.

So a warning to those who want to appease the Islamic Republic, you are actually opposing 96.8% of the Iranian population.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Mir Hossein Moussavi's Latest Press Conference

Mir Hossein Moussavi's chances of becoming the next president of the Islamic Republic is becoming more and more a possibility. For the first time, during his Iranian New Year speech, the Supreme Leader, distanced himself from giving unconditional support to Ahmadinejad by saying 'I back the government when I feel it is being unfairly criticised, this is sometimes wrongly interpretted that I back a specific person or tell people who to vote for'.

Of course those who follow Iran related news will take such claims by the Supreme Leader with a pinch of salt, knowing how the Supreme Leader explicitly advocated Nateq Nouri or how his office specifically commanded the Baseej units to make votes for Ahmadinejad in the past. It is a sign however that may be even the Supreme Leader is now convinced that the Islamic Republic needs someone other than Ahmadinejad in order to survive.

Nevertheless Moussavi, so far, seems to be engaged in skillful maneuvering through an impossible task of wooing the youth participation, who want change, without rocking the boats of the untouchable centres of real power within the Islamic Republic. He is avoiding the term, eslahtalab [reformist] by calling himself eslahgara [reformer] who looks to the fundamentals.
Thus trying to please the hardliners known as 'principalists' - or fundamentalists - as well as giving hints to the larger population that he will not be as austere as the fundamentalists who have made the lives of ordinary Iranians like hell.

Undoubtedly there will be more occasions in the future to write about Moussavi. However for now, just one point about his pledge during yesterday's press conference to abolish the Ershad [Guidance/Morality] Patrols, responsible for daily harassment of ordinary Iranian citizens for their personal choices in how they dress, what music they listen to etc.

Anyone who knows anything about who runs what in the Islamic Republic will be able to call Moussavi's bluff as the Morality Patrols are under direct command of the Supreme Leader and the president does not have the power to touch them.

Lets not forget how Ahmadinejad criticised these unpopular harassments before he became the president:

It would be unfair to expect Iranian journalists to raise such points but the foreign journalists who attend these press conferences, should do their homework before, and have the courage to expose such bluffs.

Not related to this post, but interesting old footage of Ayatollah Khomeini giving his unconditional support to Moussavi when he was the Prime Minister in the 80s, after five ministers in Moussavi's cabinet had resigned. Supreme Leader, then President of the Islamic Republic, is seen sitting next to Moussavi:

Monday, April 06, 2009

Brainwashing at Iranian Schools

This is a typical memo sent to Baseej units at schools telling them what they should do and how pupils are forced to engage in pointless time wasting exercises.

Salavat is a chant, Shiite Muslims shout when the name of the Prophet is mentioned or when they want to show approval of something said. Hand clapping and whistling are frowned upon as Western traits and Salavat instead is encouraged. Salavat is a chant in Arabic which hails the prophet and all his family.

The memo is from 'Academic and Student Baseej' to the District 19 units and this is what it says:
'With Salavat to Mohammad (PBUH) and his family. With reference to the enclosed Salavat form for bringing closer the reappearance of the Lord of All Ages the saviour, it is of note for the commanders of all units to send in the names of the enrolled pupils and how many times they have chanted Salavat until this closing date..
Pupils who have chanted the most will be enetered in a prize draw and will receive prizes.
Attention! to receive the Salavat form refer to the Sisters Baseej units.'

Surely there are better things the Iranian pupils could engage their valueable time with.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Why is the US President Bowing to the Saudi King?

Watch this Youtube film footage below. About 53 seconds into the footage, you see the President of the United States of America, Barak Hussein Obama, bowing to the Saudi King, one of the major sponsors of Madressahs where children become brainwashed and radicalized. Is this some new US protocol?

On a different humourous note, I came across this comment posted on Mehdi Khazali's website:

حضرت امام صادق (ع) فرمود: پدرم فرموند: «پيش از ظهور منجي، مردي قدبلند و سياه در مغرب زمين به حکومت مي‌رسد که نشانه‌اي آشکار از جدم ابا عبدالله با اوست. لشگر او قويترين لشکر روي زمين است و اين لشگر سرزمين کربلا را به تصرف در مي‌آورد تا زمينه ظهور منجي را آماده سازد. ا>ˆ خون مدعيان دروغين جانشيني جدم اميرالمومنين را در نجف و قم به زمين مي‌ريزد و نائبان دروغين مهدي را رسوا مي‌سازد. او پس از تسلط بر کربلا و نجف به سوي ري تاخته و حاکم يک دست ری را که خود را به دروغ به ما منتسب مي‌کند و بوزينه‌ای زشت رو را در بر دارد نابود خواهد کرد. در آن زمان شيعيان ما نبايد شک کنند که اوباماست» ( بحار الانوار - جلد سیزدهم - باب سی ام ) . " الهم عجل لولیک الفرج

It claims to be a quote from Imam Ja'afar Sadeq, the sixth Shiite Imam who revived Shiism Islam, the brand of Shiite sect which is the official religion of Iran is named after him as Ja'afari Shiism after his contributions to revive the sect, and the quote translates to this:

'Before the appearance of the saviour, a tall dark skinned man will come to govern in the West, who has an obvious resemblance to my grand father Aba Abdallah [ Another name for Imam Hussein]. His army is the strongest army on earth, and this army will conquer Karbala to prepare for the coming of the Saviour. He will shed the blood of the false pretenders to the succession of my grandfather Imam Ali in Najaf and in Qom [holiest Shiite cities in Iraq and in Iran], and will dishonour the false representatives of Saviour Mahdi. After conquering Karbala and Najaf, he will head towards Ray, [Near Tehran], and he will destroy the one arm Governor [Supreme Leader's right arm has been disabled since the failed assassination attempt on him by the MeK], who falsely associates himself with us and who has an ugly monkey [Children's live program in Iran went off the air after a child inadvertently said his dad called his toy monkey Ahmadinejad], in front of him. When the moment comes, the Shiites must have no doubt that he is with us'.

Have to tell the English speaking readers that in Persian, 'he is with us' reads 'is Obama'. So the quote finishes in this way ' When the moment comes, the Shiites must have no doubt he is Obama' :))

I have no means to reference the source of the quote, and most probably it is made up, just thought it was hilarious.