Friday, December 01, 2006

Assembly of Experts

I wish I was a good satirist and could really demonstrate the farce of the "elections" for the Assembly of Experts in the Islamic Republic. Although I think some of the news related to the "elections" for the Assembly of Experts, due to be held on December 15th, is so bizarre that even if I just list them as bullet points, it will make good material for stand up comedy.
Perhaps it will also preempt the likes of Laura Rozen, Simon Tisdall, Simon Jenkins, Baroness Nicholson, Sir Menzies Campbell, Jack Straw and the like who claim the Islamic Republic is the greatest democracy ever :)

So here are a few bullet points on the latest round of elections for the Assembly of Experts in the Islamic Republic:

- Some of the candidates who were rejected are incumbent members in the present assembly. To be vetted for the assembly, candidates must be examined for their Shiite theological knowledge. In other words these incumbent members were knowledgeable in the past, but now somehow, they have lost their expertise on the subject. Perhaps they have failed to keep up with the latest technological developments in Shiite technology!

- In previous years, the criteria for deciding a candidate's expertise was the testimony of three high-level clerics or the approval of the Supreme Leader. Now written exam and oral exam has been added too. Again with the exception of approval by the Supreme Leader which will negate
the necessity for the exams.

- The Guardian Council's obsession with vetting the candidates has become more and more extreme each time. One third of the candidates were rejected by the Guardian Council this time round. This meant in some constituencies, there was only one candidate up for elections :)

- To avoid the embarrassing situation of uncontested seats, the Guardian Council decided to transfer some of the candidates to other constituencies in order to have multiple candidates in all constituencies.
For example, Mohsen Gharavian, one of Mesbah-Yazdi's students, although had registered as a candidate in Qom was instead transferred to run as a candidate in Northern Khorasan Province because there was only one candidate there.

- Transfer of candidates to other constituencies became so preposterous that finally the Guardian Council re-approved 18 candidates it had earlier rejected. In other words 18 candidates who were earlier deemed to lack enough knowledge on Shiite theology, suddenly became experts again.

- One of the candidates rejected was the former governor of Gorgan, Hossein Raf'ati. The former governor has served for 18 years in the revolutionary guards, 14 months as the governor of Gorgan, two years as the director of the political and law enforcement body of the province. Now the reason for his rejection, wait a minute, hold on tight to your chairs, is:
" Taking part in actions against the national security" :))
The former governor of Gorgan claims he has never even been accused of such a charge, let alone been tried or punished for it. :)))


Bahramerad said...

What a farce. Excuse me, what a Fart.

SERENDIP said...

Dear Potkin: Most excellent..."Shiite technology". Now, that's pretty satirical to me. Great work.

Somi said...

Potkin this one was truely a good job. Well done! :-)


Anonymous said...

داستان مجلس خبرگان البته می تواند خنده دار باشد. اگر اين مجلس در کشوری ديگر تشکيل می شد بی شک تک تک ما را تنها به خنده و قهقهه وا می داشت. تصور کنيد چنين مجلسی در يک قبيلة آدمخوار آفريقايی و يا در جنگلهای آمازون بر پا می شد؟ آنوقت ما چه رفتاری می داشتيم؟ چيزی فراتر از تمسخر و نيشخند که پس اين جوامع عقب مانده کی می خواهند به تمدن انسانی بپيوندند؟ ولی مجلس خبرگان دلخراش هم است، زيرا که اين مجلس نزديک به سه دهه است که در خاک مقدس کشورعزيزمان ايران تشکيل می شود. من ولی احساس سومی نيز دارم. وقتی به تمام رويدادها و پديده های ناخجسته و شخصيتهای پليد جمهوری اسلامی می انديشم. از جمله به اين مجلسی که قانون اساسی مشروطيت را از ما گرفت و در ميان کف زدنهای انقلابيان عقب مانده و پر مدعا قانون اساسی اهريمنی اسلامی را برسرنوشت ما حاکم کرد، آنگاه نفرت تمام وجودم را تسخير می کند، نفرت از آخوند و دين، نفرت از رهبران و کارگزاران اين جمهوری ضد ايرانی، نفرت از آخوند خامنه ای و طرفدارانش، نفرت از آخوند رفسنجانی و متحدانش و نفرت ازآخوند خاتمی و دوم خردادش و نفرت از آخوند مکلا احمدی نژاد و يارانش. ـ
در اينترنت جستجو کردم ودر سايت رسمی رهبر جمهوری اسلامی دو عکس ازديدار وی با اعضای مجلس خبرگان پيدا کردم. آدرس اين دو عکس را اينجا می آورم و از خوانندگان خواهش می کنم با دقت و تامل به تک تک چهره ها نگاه کنند. سپس لطف کنند و بنويسند چه احساسی هنگام ديدن چهره ها به آنان دست می دهد. عکس نخست آخوند خامنه ای را با آخوند مشکينی، با عمامة سفيد، که رييس مجلس خبرگان است نشان می دهد. عکس دوم جمعی از اعضای مجلس خبرگان را به تصوير کشيده است. خوب به تک تک صورتها نگاه کنيد.ـ

Anonymous said...

آدرس اينترنتی کامل چاپ نشده بود. بار ديگر اينجا می آورم.ـ

Anonymous said...

Dear Carl,

please don't forget that Carter is also a mullah!

Anonymous said...

Good post, Azarmehr.

پاشا - That 421jpg picture is scary and funny at the same time. 1/2 of them look like they're asleep.